The Topper
Are you a Topper?
What is that sound? That’s me, the talker. You can’t get a word in edge-wise. It’s a thoughtless reaction to spoken conversation: you speak, and I immediately respond with something much more interesting. That is my way. Everything you say somehow relates to me and something I’ve done. Your words are mine to steal. Your experiences are mine to top. Thanks for listening. My name is the Topper.
Toppers are annoying.
If you don’t understand why this is annoying, it’s probably because you’re that guy.
Toppers always win.
There is no point in fighting the topper. It’s like a disease you can’t cure. Simply keep your distance and avoid contact at all costs.
Beware the “Office Topper.”
Toppers in the office are particularly tricky simply because contact cannot always be avoided. Use of awkward silence and crazy-eyes are highly recommended to fend off topper attempts at conversation.
When all else fails.
When hopelessly caught in conversation with the topper, make up a story that is completely outrageous and could never possibly be topped (i.e. I live in space! or Last night, I murdered a homeless man!). The topper will back away slowly and most likely avoid contact with you in the future.
LoOOoooOL
I wrote a better article about this.
Oh my god! If this were anonymous, I would totally tell you who this reminds me of!